Secrets, Progress, and Latest Publication

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“It doesn’t matter who you used to be. What matters is who you become.”

These are my notes for my latest post on Elephant Journal (Read it Here). I wasn’t aware that I was a “used to be” smoker until I wrote it and saw it. I immediately sent this photo to my boyfriend and said “I just realized that I don’t do this anymore.”

It felt really good

To think that a year ago I was choking myself, smoking a pack a day without even wanting to. Of course I thought I loved to smoke. But the more I thought about it and the more embarrassed I became around non-smokers when I would have to light up, I realized I hated myself for it.

It had to go.

I wish I could say that I haven’t touched one since last May, but that would be a lie. It has been a struggle. But instead of judging myself for that I look at that statement and think “Wow, I’m not a slave to them anymore.”

The thing that I was afraid to let go of was the thought that they defined me, even when I didn’t want them to anymore. Now they don’t and because of that I have evolved as a person.

I am a happier person and know that nothing defines me but myself.

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